Do you feel there are days & times of your life where time just passes you by? I know I do, and today is one of those days. I feel like all I am doing is existing rather than living.
Weeks & months go by where I simply want to do things, but I honestly don’t have the will or desire to do anything about them. Yes, I do things, but only out of obligation & regret if I don’t do them.
I wish I could feel motivated to live a life rather than just exist. Not only do I feel like this when it comes to work, but it also extends into intimacy with Minxy. I feel as though I would be better off being single and living with my parents than having a wife and child.
I want to feel something, I want to feel like I am contributing to the world. Each day I go to work and I create solutions to people’s problems. I contribute to the world, but I don’t create physical objects. I want to create something physical with my hands. All I create are plans for others to create objects with their hands.
Maybe I need to change fields into something where I create physical objects. But the question is whether changing profession will change my feeling of just existing. I suspect it won’t change my feelings.
If changing profession is unlikely to help, maybe I need to find a hobby using my hands. I just have no motivation to do something. It is the weirdest feeling, a need to create, but no motivation to create. I just exist and float through life.
I am sick of existing, but I do not have the desire to help myself. Energy to change is what I want so I can make something of my life.
How do you find motivation & energy to stop existing and start living?