There are numerous thoughts running through my head that is brewing constantly, some for many years. I may appear to be a happy and confident person on Twitter, but deep in my mind, I am the complete opposite. I despise my body and how it looks & operates.
There are many areas of my body that I dislike, more than is possible with this post.
My Uncaged Cock
One of my largest hangups is my cock. There are days that I wish my parents put me through the torture of circumcision as a child. There are others when I am glad they did not. This is from the sensitivity of my glans, presumably as I am uncircumcised.
I hate being the first person in a group situation to be on the brink of an orgasm during playtime. I hate not being able to pound a pussy (or arse) for more than three deep strokes before teetering on the edge.
It shits me to tears that I have to pull back from play situations so I can last longer than 2 minutes. Even withdrawing can trigger an orgasm.
My Caged Cock
The number of times that I have orgasmed accidentally makes me feel terrible. Almost to the point that I feel that my sex life would be better if I were a celibate man. I think this is one reason I like my cock being locked in a chastity cage. It allows me to not need the use of my cock so early during playtime, no matter who I am with.
Not only does my foreskin make me feel bad in the bedroom, but also in a chastity cage as well. I have to make sure that everything lines up to go to the bathroom (which is standard for most men in chastity). I also need to make sure that my foreskin does not get pinched during erections as well.
As well as the PE and the pinched foreskin, I also dislike how it looks when it is caged. Not liking how it looks caged also makes me ponder whether I should look for a different cage. Should we be spending money on something that may not fix my self-confidence about one aspect of my body?
My Torso
I hate the roundness of my body, I am a larger person and I have been for the majority of my life. A lean and trim caged has only come about once with hours upon hours of swimming each week. I do not have the time to commit to that sort of regime, nor do I have the motivation to do so.
I feel as though I have come to accept being a large person, but I do not feel any better. All I do is see people doing less than me with massive transformations, or people whining they can not put on weight, and it shits me to tears. I look at food and I put on weight.
This is why I just want to be rid my body. This is my largest hangup of all. If I were to end my life, it would be because of my fat, ugly body.
My Voice
I hate the sound of my voice. I hate hearing it played back at me. This is why I hate public speaking, this is why I would rather be behind the camera, this is why I stay quiet in situations, I don’t want to put people through the same things that I hate.
If I hate my voice, why should I put others through listening to my voice? I am no public speaker or public authority figure because I could never listen to myself when it is played back to me. I cringe at the sound of my voice. The world would be a better place if I was a mute.
Losing weight can be done with a minimum of work but lots of discipline. Try a Paleo diet–doesn’t restrict how much you eat but rather what you eat. The short and skinny is your avoid grains (no bread, rice, cereals etc. ). Eat lots of meat and protein all day.
Eat lots of fruit till midday and lots of vegetables from midday on or even all day. If you can do that you will be healthier and you will lose weight.
Being old and alone, I like to get pleasure with metal Buttplug. I like to feel the heat of my body increasing the heat of the metal.