No I find this is one of the most difficult words to use regularly. It doesn't matter what the scenario is: it could be to myself buying a new "toy"; at work when someone requests some help; when it comes to doing something I don't want to do with family/friends; when Minxy wants to do something with her boyfriend. To me, it is impossible to say "no" in these and a multitude of other situations. I find that I am a "yes" man. If I'm not a "yes" man than I am non-committal to things asked of me. Saying "no" is difficult no matter how great (or little) the hurt would be to the person on the other end of the conversation I am having. I am positive that saying "no" will have no impact on some, although I still feel responsible to answer with a "yes", even to the possible detriment to myself. I can say with some ...
About A caged human
Lonely Poly Nights
Nights like tonight...I am feeling down while at home while Minxy is on holidays with her boyfriend...My other is at home with her husband. It is just me and the TV and it sucks. Nights like tonight...I have a desire to be spanked, bruised and denied. Minxy is with her boyfriend on holidays. My other is helping her husband. It's me and the TV and it sucks. Nights like tonight...I want to talk to her, wrap my arms around her, but she is away from me. So it is just the TV and me and it sucks. So why am I poly? When there are nights like these, I really question why. It has been a tough couple of weeks with work and stress. Dates seem to be further apart...She gets the attention and I get the solitude. Life doesn't feel particularly fair right at this moment. In moments like these, being poly sucks. Some might call this poly drama, it is ...
A Little Spark?
It seems that Minxy and caged has lost the spark that it once had. We had toys to review, sexcapades to write about, discussions about non-monogamy and orgasm denial. Most of that seems to have gone by the wayside since Miss 2.5 came onto the scene. Children certainly put a dampener on the sexcapades unless you spend time focusing on making sure they happen. We haven't made the effort to make sure we did. I can see that in our relationship now. I'm not going to pretend that all is well in the world of Minxy and caged. If anything, this post is more an acknowledgement that we need to do something before it is too late. What the next steps involve are unknown, but this will start a discussion. What resources can anyone provide that may be of use for a couple that have lost the spark? ...
Jealousy
... jealousy comes and goes, depending on how good I feel about myself. When I'm not taking care of getting what I want, it's easy to get jealous and think that someone else is getting what I am not. I need to remember that it's my job to get my needs met. I feel the jealousy, but I'm not willing to act on it so it mostly goes away. A quote from The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt ...
Existing
I apologise for this apology. I seem to do this far too often, write nothing for months, then when I feel like writing something, I start the post with an apology. Again, I am doing this one more time in this post. As I have previously written before, the sexuality swing I am on seems to be very much swinging towards the asexual side of life. My desire for intimacy with Minxy or my Mistress have been non-existent. I'm not sure why they seem to stick around given my lack of desire to be with either of them. I don't mean to put pressure on myself to perform for each of them, or to worry about this lack of sexuality and sex drive, but I just feel there is no reason to continue with these relationships if I cannot give them the physical intimacy they each deserve. My life feels more like an existance than living. Once again I am running ...