It has been over a year since we started a new swinging adventure in our world of kink. However things have changed over the last few days, and that adventure has come to an end. Although I am not here to talk about that adventure, I am here to talk about my stupid head.
The reason our adventure ended is because of my lack of libido and the fact that I feel inadequate and self sabotage virtually anything good in my life. However there seems to be a link, and that link is my head.
Some days I just wish I could cut my brain out and replace it with a normal brain:
- a brain that does not over think;
- a brain that does not assume the worst;
- a brain that does not dwell on the past;
- a brain that accepts what happened;
- a brain that does not stalk Twitter;
- a brain that does not overreact too what it sees on Twitter.
I would love a brain that has none of those negative aspects. But unfortunately that is the brain I have been dealt in life.
Now my unfortunate brain has led the awesome adventure of partner swapping awry and I have decided to end it for the health of my mind. I can’t continue to hold a group of people back from something awesome while I can’t even get mt cock up for my wife, it isn’t fair to the other 3 of the group.
Do I regret my decision, yes and no. Yes because a great time was had by all, and no because I know I need to put Minxy first. Now the reason I don’t regret my decision is because I don’t feel that it is fair to continue on an adventure with Minxy, if I am only in the right mood to sleep with a woman who isn’t my wife.
So for now, you will not be seeing any reference to swinging for us for quite some time, more likely forever because I can not handle the mental aspects of sleeping with another woman if I can’t even get in the right mood with Minxy.