Embracing my curves has been something that I have struggled with my whole life, well since I was a teen and puberty set in. I have never been a petite little Asian girl, nor have I ever claimed to be.
But with mainstream society’s view of what a woman should look like and the constant attacks from those around me growing up, I’ve always seen myself as being fat, ugly and overweight, and thus undesirable, unsexy and frumpy. I’d always wear clothes baggy to hide these curves.
I did learn about bbw a few years ago, and I was wowed by how these women embraced their curves, they loved themselves for who they were and they embraced being a big beautiful woman. But I still had troubles. When guys would call me a thick woman, and saying how much they loved it, it repulsed me to think of myself as being a thick woman. But who am I kidding.
When I learnt about corsets and waist training, I embarked on a journey to give myself that hourglass figure, that made me feel sexier, and curvier and I started to learn to love my curves. I know that I’ll never be a petite Asian, as they are not in my genetics, well maybe they are, but my hormones (having insulin resistance due to having PCOS) prevent that from ever happening.
Wanting to record my baby bump growth each week, but as each week went by, my bump didn’t seem to get much bigger. So I didn’t take photos of my bump, too embarrassed of my fat. Every morning I would look at myself in the mirror and ask my baby where it was hiding. I knew it was there, feeling it moving around is a surreal feeling, and I love it. At first I was thinking, was that a movement, but as the weeks went on and they became more frequent I knew it was my bub saying hello and trying to get comfortable, in its apartment which is getting smaller as the weeks go by.
I am forever complaining to caged nerd that I don’t have a baby bump and how jealous I am of skinny pregnant girls and them showing at 12 weeks. Having a D bump and blah, blah, blah.
Last night caged nerd told me that my “fat belly” was sticking out further then before and that he was definitely sure that bub was up there pushing out. I, of course didn’t believe him, at least until this morning when I was looking at myself in the mirror and feeling for my uterus. To my shock I realised that my uterus wasn’t at my belly button anymore but that it was halfway between my belly button and my bossom. Then upon further inspection that the curve from the bossom to my “fat belly” was in fact my baby belly and not my “fat belly”.
As usual straight onto google, and googled about B bumps. I knew about them before, and that they were common for plus size women as well as women with major inny belly buttons. And what do you know, I fall into both those categories, well kind of. Well, my pre-pregnancy size, for tops I was a 16-18, special thanks to my lovely ample bossom, and for bottoms I’m a size 12-14. And yet I’m considered obese, I think this BMI nonsense, needs a shake down. Anyways.
So reading up on how to help this B bump along to a D bump… Some said start wearing belly bands and full panel bottoms, as not doing so just accentuates the B bump rather than the desired D bump. Some said they always had a B bump, and some were skinny girls and they always had a B bump as their belly button never popped. That made me feel better that some skinny girls suffered the B bump.
So as I dressed for work this morning, I’m rocking out my maternity nylons OVER my baby belly, with fishnets. And looking at myself in the mirror, looking like a proud mummy with a proud B bump. rubs baby bump
shakes fist curse you belly button!